As part of my unending quest to delve into scary, murky, untested waters and bring back pearls for ya’ll, I bring you: how to fry a fucking egg.

Another unendingness is my frustration about people who say they want to do things and give themselves an excuse before they even try.

“Oh, that must be nice being able to go to study in Europe.  I wish I could.  You must be rich.”

       Ahhh… no.  I’m broke as fuck.  They’re called student loans.  But hopefully this experience will pay off in ways I can’t even fathom yet, allowing me to not be broke as fuck forever.

“Oh wow, you have a bachelor’s degree?   It must be nice to be that smart.  I could never do something like that.”

     Ugh…I know some people who would disagree with you.  Besides, it wasn’t my smarts that got me through college.  It was a helluva lot of coffee and perseverance and Ramen and coffee.  Did I mention student loans already? 

“Wow, that’s really pretty.  You’re so talented.  I can’t do creative things.”

     I bet you’re full of shit, and I bet I can prove it to you.  Now let’s make a sandcastle, bitch!

“I’ll never…”

     Well that, I agree with.  If you say you’ll never… you’ll never.

But never say never!  Especially when it comes to frying the perfect over-medium egg…(which I can do phenomenally well with my rich-talents-smarts)…because we’re gonna do it together, below.  No really, though.  I make a bom-ass fried egg.   Do kids still say “bom ass”?   Anyways, here, with love: